


The Two Dans

by F1_rabbit



Series: Dan Squared [1]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 12:42:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3529847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F1_rabbit/pseuds/F1_rabbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a tumblr post: Imagine Dany calling Dan mate in his best Australian accent while Dan does the opposite because they're trying to make each other laugh and Dan butchering the Russian language is hilarious…</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Two Dans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [micaelarose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/micaelarose/gifts).



Dan and Dany are fun guys, two very different senses of humour, but still funny. So there have been a few pranks in the factory. Most of them have been harmless but it escalated quickly. Dany thought it would be funny to put superglue on the chair in Dan's room but it turned nasty when Christian sat in it instead…

"This is a professional team" Christian says after being cut of his clothes that were superglued to the chair, "and we expect you behave like grown ups" he says and then he looks directly at Dany "you're not in Toro Rosso any more".

"Do you understand?" Christian asks.

"No worries, mate," says Dan.

"Understood, comrade," says Dany, completely deadpan, and the Dans collapse in hysterical laughter. Christian rolls his eyes and wonders what he did to end up here. When it was Seb and Mark there was no fun in the team at all, then Dan arrived and he made everything a bit cheerier but now he's stuck with two almost manically cheery drivers. Two Dans, literally two Dans, he thinks, shaking his head.

They're still chuckling as they leave Christian's office and he can hear them saying 'mate' and 'comrade' to each other. He's got a horrible feeling that it'll not be the last time he'll hear about this.

*****

Red Bull have landed in Melbourne, and Dan's in extra-super-mega-cheery mode because he's home. As Dan drives them both to the track, they end up talking about all the media commitments they have.

"I wish we didn't have to deal with the media," says Dany, "I wish we could just race!"

"I don't mind talking to the media," says Dan. "They seem to like me for some reason!" and his already impossibly wide smile grows some more.

"I'm pretty sure it's the charming Australian accent!" Dan continues and Dany rolls his eyes at how vain Dan is.

"It hasn't charmed me!" blurts Dany, his inner fanboy showing a little bit.

"At least I don't sound like a Bond villain!" says Dan, with a big cheesy grin.

"At least I don’t sound like this; good day, _mayte_ ," Dany says in what is probably the most villainous Australian accent Dan's ever heard. Dan's laughing so much that Dany's worried they might end up in an accident.

"It's g'day mate!" Dan says once he can speak without laughing.

" _Gi deh mayte_!" Dany tries to repeat it but it still sounds so wrong, causing Dan even more fits of laughter.

"Nice try, _komrad_!" Dan mocks, it's not a bad impersonation of Dany but there's still a distinctly Australian hint to the word.

"Dobryj dyen, tovarishch," Dany says, and then laughs at the obvious look of confusion on Dan's face. "Good day, comrade!" he translates, and they both end up laughing manically.

" _Dohb-rihy dyen tovar-ish_ ," Dan repeats after Dany slowly, and is surprised by the shriek of laughter from Dany.

"That is the worst Russian I have ever heard!" Dany says, he's laughing so hard he's bent over in the seat, clutching his stomach.

" _Dohb-rihy dyen tovarish_!" Dan says faster and while shaking one of his hands. Dany really should be concerned that he's only got one hand on the wheel and seems to be laughing so much that there are tears in his eyes but Dan's just hysterically funny when he tries to speak Russian. It's adorable Dany thinks, but he pushes the thought away, they're just friends, nothing more.

*****

The Dan's make it to the track in one piece, both of them still sniggering at the other's attempt to mimic their accent.

Christian hears his drivers coming from quite a distance, shrieks of laughter clear over the noise of an f1 engine being started up. When he sees them they're shoving and pushing at each other playfully, lots of touching and smiling. Christian wonders how he'll deal with **that** , he's used to team mates trying to kill each other, but not two that act like they're long lost lovers reunited.

Dany says, " _Gi deh mayte_!" to Christian and there's even more sniggers of laughter.

Christian laughs politely and is about to try and focus them on work when Dan says, " _dohbrihy dyen tovarish_!".

He's not a clue what Dan just said to him but both his drivers are now clinging to each other in laughter, seemingly unable to stand up with just how funny this remark is.

And I've got a whole year of this to look forward to… Christian thinks, as he walks away, leaving the Dans curled up on the floor laughing manically. Only the odd words 'mate' and 'comrade' are heard from the two hysterical drivers.

**Author's Note:**

> *and obviously none of this actually happened, it is all a figment of my twisted imagination ;)


End file.
